Lives More Temporary Than Our Own



Buddy being held by Nonna Chin in Montana this past summer

It's been just a few weeks since we said goodbye to our Buddy-dog.  He would have been 17-years-old this coming December, and we were amazed at the many, many years we had with him.  Dave and I got him when were engaged.  Dave had never had a dog, and I agreed to show him the ropes...so he and Buddy shared the Bachelor Pad in South Pasadena until I moved in after we got married.

We got Buddy when he was only 7 weeks old - drove on over to Downey to a breeder and picked the little guy out of a cute litter of mini-dachshunds.  He was actually the runt of the litter, and in order to ensure he had what it took to survive, the breeder set him apart from his mom and siblings.  Buddy, with all his spunk and character, made his way back to his momma, pushed his siblings aside, and got his meals at the front of the line!  We liked that about him! The breeders had named him "Tiny Tim" because of his size, but boy, that little guy had heart!

He quickly became spoiled.  That's what you do with a cuddly little floppy-eared dachshund!  We tried the whole "crate" thing, but that sweet pup pretty much ended up sleeping in between us for all of our 16 years of marriage.  Like all dachshunds, he was a cuddler and a burrower - he loved being warm and under the covers.  He loved to run up and down our street in South Pasadena and drink from the sprinklers.  He weathered our move to Texas with ease and ended up living in six different houses with us when all was said and done.  He loved laying in the sun, perching on the back of our couch, sitting up for treats, barking at big dogs as if he could take them on and win, ripping open packages on Christmas morning, giving kisses in the mornings to get Dave to get up and take him out, and eating chunks of apple (Granny Smith preferred, no skin).



Buddy and Brooks last Christmas

For those of you that know us well, that little guy was so much a part of our family I heard many times - "It's hard to think of the Quans without Buddy!"  And, you were right... he went everywhere with us... summer vacations in Montana, Seattle, California, South Carolina...  He flew on planes with us, drove on long road trips with us and walked all over many a neighborhood.  He was included in every Christmas card or letter... in family pictures... He was our first "baby."  For so many years, when we couldn't have a baby, he was our baby!  That little guy somehow eased the ache of longing for children just with his presence and his unconditional love (well, there were a few conditions, but mostly they involved treats).

And when Nate came along, the center of our universe really shifted.  Buddy never missed a beat.  He loved the little boy that moved into his territory - kissing him, playing with him.  He couldn't stand to hear Nate cry and insisted we go down the hall to Nate's room the moment there was even a sound.  Those two have shared a lot of sweet memories through the years.

In those final days our sweet little baby dog wouldn't sleep with us.  He was uncomfortable, blind and hurting.  He wandered aimlessly and cried and cried.  It broke our hearts... and it broke our hearts to say goodbye to this little piece of God's creation who had loved us so well and we loved tremendously. 



Buddy looking out over the Yellowstone River, 2007

It's been so strange... so much quieter.  Going to bed is not the same... not without that little puppy curled up next to me under the blankets.  We've all cried quite a bit - because for the last 17 years he was such a part of our everyday.  Faithful, loving, annoying, cute... company when we were a little lonely, comfort when we were a little sad, funny when we were in the midst of a busy day...  how amazing that a little dog could bring so much to our family.

We were given a poem when he passed away that summed it up in such a beautiful way - the love we had for our Buddy-dog:

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.  Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.  We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan..."   -Irving Townsend.

I think the only thing I disagree with there is the notion that memory is the only certain immortality.  My faith has led me to believe something different.   As with all loss, I have again tasted a bit of the longing for a whole and perfect creation that will one day come when all of creation is redeemed.  And, somehow, I know that every animal we've loved fits into that redemption story... 

Rachel for the Quan Clan