Going Home

So here I am, at another juncture in my life - closing out my Final Four job and getting ready to embark upon my new one.  That's for another blog.  However, in this transition period, I took a long-overdue trip back to the Bay Area in California to visit my grandmother, AKA "Grandma Chin", who has been ill this past year.  The last time I had seen her was over Chinese New Year in 2010, and since I was just getting off of the spinning planet that was the NCAA Final Four, I knew I had to plan another trip to see her.  And, here, at this fork in the road of my life, where I am closing one chapter and opening another, I have been blessed to get to taste again that feeling of going back to a familiar place, that place that evokes childhood memories and is a reminder of who you are and where you've come from.

MY OLD HOME

It's an odd situation.  There isn't a "childhood home" that my parents live in and I go back to visit.  In fact, we moved houses so often that there is no such place for me and my sister.  The longest we lived in any house was 5 years.  I broke my "longest living in a house" record a couple of months ago when I hit the 6 year mark in the home I share with Dave and Nate, here on Bellefontaine.  So "going home" for me (if you are talking about a physical structure) is my grandmother's house on Grand Avenue in Oakland, California - a short walk from Lake Merrit and the Grand Theater.   It's a 2-story stucco duplex that is over 100 years old and my grandma reminded me the other day that she is only the 3rd owner of this home. 

I don't know how to describe it, but it has a certain smell about it.  A certain sound about it.  A certain feeling and sense about it that is familiar and comfortable.  Lots of memories here.  My sister and I used to play on the stairs non-stop when we were little during family gatherings.  And there's the little nook off the kitchen  where I would pad down the hallway to, early in the morning, and talk with my grandmother while she got food ready for the day and smoked a cigarette.  The Safeway Supermarket across the street has been there for ages and ages, and the traffic noise that comes through the front windows is sort of comforting in an odd way.  This is the house that my husband's family first met my family in, and the place where Nate came to meet the Chin side of his family - where he sat next to my grandfather's chair and rifled through the Chinese newspaper on the floor, pulling apart the different sections and staring at the strange characters on the pages, complete with pacifier in his mouth.

There are also strange memories that come with this place.  Tension between family members, some harsh words spoken, divorce, marriage, heartache, reconciliation... all the things that come with being a family.  If these walls could speak they would have many a good and beautiful and hard and sad stories to tell (as would all of our houses and homes).  And, standing here as an adult, I can appreciate ALL of those stories and the real life that has been lived here.  Most of all, for me, there is a sense of permanence in this place - a knowing that it will always be here - and that I can always come back to it.  And, it's a reminder of the fact that I want this for my own child -  a physical location that represents all of the wonderfully complicated things that make his family, his family.

3 Generations of Chin Women

And, as I walked through Oakland Chinatown with my Auntie Diane and Grandma Chin during my visit -making our way through old and young immigrants looking for their produce and a good lunch - I was reminded more of my cultural heritage.  I cannot describe for you the sights, sounds and feelings that come with a rememberance that this is where my life started (or close by), where I ate my first Char-su Bao, where the Chin clan made their way. 




Nate and Dave at our home's front door

  MY CURRENT HOME - The Home that Chin & Quan Built
Now, those of you who know me know that "home" is Houston, Texas where I have made my life and my living for the past 15 years.  And it will be the place where Nate will come back to and be reminded of his roots and the legacy built for him in the city he is growing up in.  It won't all be nostalgic - it wouldn't be real if it were - but it will ground him and give him a sense of belonging and a better understanding of who he is and what matters.  It is also where the Quan side of his roots grow deep - this family that has become mine over the past 18 years.  They have a story of their own in this city, and he is a part of that legacy!  I have been quite determined to raise him in one place, one house, one community for his growing up years because I think that grounding will give him the courage to go out and try new things, go new places and become who he is called to become.  So, I have worked hard with Dave at creating our own space and place and nest for our little bird to grow up in and then venture out from... returning here and there to be reminded of the love he comes from.

THE HOME I HAVE ONLY VISITED

Emigrant Peak in Montana

And then there's the home I never knew before I stood in the Yellowstone River and looked around me.  That would be our favorite summer destination - the Paradise Valley of Montana.  It is the place we return to year after year after year for a long stretch every summer.  I had never lived there before visiting (although my parents did for a time) and I don't even live close to there now.  I cannot describe it any other way than to say, when I am there, I feel like it is a type of home for me - because I feel alive there - and free and unencumbered, amazed at the beauty that surrounds me and in awe of the world that I live in.  That's a different type of home for me, but when I get there and look around - there's a sense of feeling like I am where I should be.

ANOTHER TYPE OF HOME

And then I got to go "home" in the professional sense - on the same California trip that took me to Oakland.  I just hopped on a plane from the Bay Area and flew to Los Angeles to do a little event work.  I got to go work my final conference under the Mowalla umbrella for awhile.  And, it was nice to "be home" in that sense.  To work with someone I know well, to be able to fall in step with the gig and know exactly what needed to be done and then just do it.  To see things come together - to work on a topic that is near and dear to my heart and recognize that the work we do behind-the-scenes, well, it matters!  When we are a part of producing something that moves others to action, we are a part of changing the world. 



Enjoying doing what I love to do

I was teary-eyed all week working on this one because I knew it was goodbye in a sense.  I love doing events, and I will continue to do them in my new role as the Executive Director of the GRHA.  But sadly, it won't be with the event family I have literally "grown up" with.  I've learned a ton from them and am proud of all we have accomplished together.  Beyond that, there have been some wonderful stories that I have gotten to be a part of  - big and small - that have helped shape me into the person I am today - both professionally and spiritually.  I realized in the midst of this particular gig, that I was "home" in the work sense - doing what I love to do with people I love working with.  Home - for me - is about that place where you are most comfortable and feel the most like you can be who you are. 

MY REAL HOME



There's the home I came from in the Bay Area, and the home that I have with my professional family, and the home I never really lived in but like to visit... and the home that I have worked on and established for my own family.  And I am really, really grateful that the word "Home" evokes good feelings for me because I recognize that for others, this word does not have anything good attached to it.  And, please hear me - I am not saying that "home" for me in any of these settings is idyllic.  There have been heartaches, fights, betrayal, sadness, in all of these places I claim.  And there has also been forgiveness, reconciliation, enormous love and some sweet days too.  That is what home entails.  The good and the bad.  But NEVER the perfect.



Except for the Home we all long for .  Do you ever wonder where we get this longing for a perfect home?  How is it that if none of us have ever experienced that type of perfection, we still somehow long for it?  I say it's because we know that type of Home exists elsewhere - and our hearts long for the whole and perfect creation that will someday be made possible.  That would be the REAL Home I speak of, I suppose.



In the meantime, I am glad to have tastes of that real home - here and there - in the day to day of my life.  This heart is grateful for all the places that feel like home to me in so many ways.

These are my rambling thoughts, a tiny bit of familial history written down for others to know, for Nate to someday read and reflect on.  In spite of what some may say, you really can go home again - if you want to.

Rachel for the Quan Clan



What is Getting me to the Finish Line

Reliant Stadium at Sunset - only weeks to go!

I started this job nearly a year ago - and had no idea what I was in for.  Who knew that the road ending in Houston for four very talented basketball teams would be one of the longest work roads for me? 

It started with an email from a friend with a job description - and some very encouraging words from my Aunt Diane - and suddenly I was thrown into planning an iconic sporting event.

I'm used to doing events.  I'm used to long hours, lots of details and sometimes a chaotic scene around me that I am always trying to organize and make sense out of.  But the great thing about the majority of those events was that I was doing it with a team that was like my family - we had a way of doing things, a rhythm to producing an event.  So, even if the events were different each time, it was oft the same group of people working through the same structures and systems we had developed together.

This has been very different.  Completely new team.  Totally new client.  And it's been one wild ride.  A few curve balls thrown at me - some days I wasn't sure I was cut out for the task, some months when I hoped the team we were pulling together could actually pull it off.  And, now that I am less than 40 days out... well, that's when things seem to have come together.  Our team has gelled, we've got a great ethos in the office, we've sort of figured out the client - and we're almost done.  I guess better late than never. 

So, I decided tonight that I needed to focus on the things that are getting me to the finish line - sort of like counting your blessings one by one - as well as savoring a moment, being present in today.  Here we go... here's what's brought me this far:



With Donna Kallmeyer - one of my biggest cheerleaders!

MY FRIENDS and MY FAITH:  Well, first of all, there are some specific names to "shout out."  Donna Kallmeyer.  Martha Moore.  Anne Grizzle.  Brent Walla.  Roxie Chess. Laura Smith. Johnny Myers. Mary Kent Yochum.  My sister Becky.   These are the people who call me, text me, pray for me, give me the extra push I need to stick with it.  To see it through.  To gain new insight from the whole experience and recognize my calling for each day.  They also keep me grounded.

Calling show with Walla in San Diego in Sept.

A LITTLE TASTE OF WHAT I LOVE DOING: Of course, there are the few moments I've gotten to be with my old event family - like flying to San Diego to call a festival with the old team over a weekend... seemed a little crazy to fly out on a Friday, call a show all day Saturday and fly home on Sunday morning. I was tired, but oh so happy to have been in that mix again. Traveling with Laura Smith made it even better... A little taste to get me through this job... a reminder of the things I love about my old job...

EXERCISE: The year before I took this gig I worked out like a lunatic. A "shout out" to my friend (and trainer) Kelly Haley who put me in a place where I could physically handle this job... and quite frankly, staying in shape has also helped me emotionally handle this job. I don't get to be the Gym Rat I was last year, but what I have been able to do is still vitally important to me keeping my sanity.  Of course, I recognize that Kelly is more than trainer friend, she's also my mental health advisor.  Feels good to unload all the angst from a long day and work it out!



Helen's Park

A WALK TO MY FAVORITE PLACE:  When I can't be in Montana... or the Texas Hill Country, I have to find my own little place of beauty and peace in the midst of the urban jungle.  That would be Helen's Park - and a walk there with Brooks on any given Saturday afternoon will do it.  It's hard to explain this place, unless of course you happen to be my neighbor and understand what I'm talking about.  I have no idea who designed this little oasis in the city, but it's beautiful - has gorgeous landscaping, a meandering little river and a lovely fountain that Brooks and I like to sit on the edge of while we watch the cars go by and the planes fly overhead.  The sound of that water drowns out the noise of the city, and with the right song on the iPod I'm transported to another place.


MY HLOC TEAM:  Doug, Karen, Jean, Amarachi, Alex, Crystal, Risa... we're almost there, and I am so grateful for this little team we've assembled.  Who knew we had it in us?  It's been so amazing to see it all come together.  Just when we're figuring it all out, it's almost over.  So many things I won't miss about this gig, but so many things I will miss - mostly you guys and the great ethos we've got going in the office.



With Brooks and Nate on a walk together!

MY SWEET FAMILY:  And, then there's Nate and Dave that get me through... the thought of my family and getting to go back to being the mom and wife that I was - balanced and available!  The thought of planning THREE weeks in Montana this summer and not having to take this job with me again... that's some great motivation... It's also the little things with them like the Friday night dinners and Saturday morning chilling...

So this is my moment of gratitude - my moment of recognizing how it is that I am getting to this particular finish line.  I have worked long and hard on being present - and that's right where I'm at - present and grateful for the people and the parts of my life that keep me going.  And, I know that whatever the next leg of the journey might be, these will still be the people and the things that get me down the next road!

-Rachel

Lives More Temporary Than Our Own



Buddy being held by Nonna Chin in Montana this past summer

It's been just a few weeks since we said goodbye to our Buddy-dog.  He would have been 17-years-old this coming December, and we were amazed at the many, many years we had with him.  Dave and I got him when were engaged.  Dave had never had a dog, and I agreed to show him the ropes...so he and Buddy shared the Bachelor Pad in South Pasadena until I moved in after we got married.

We got Buddy when he was only 7 weeks old - drove on over to Downey to a breeder and picked the little guy out of a cute litter of mini-dachshunds.  He was actually the runt of the litter, and in order to ensure he had what it took to survive, the breeder set him apart from his mom and siblings.  Buddy, with all his spunk and character, made his way back to his momma, pushed his siblings aside, and got his meals at the front of the line!  We liked that about him! The breeders had named him "Tiny Tim" because of his size, but boy, that little guy had heart!

He quickly became spoiled.  That's what you do with a cuddly little floppy-eared dachshund!  We tried the whole "crate" thing, but that sweet pup pretty much ended up sleeping in between us for all of our 16 years of marriage.  Like all dachshunds, he was a cuddler and a burrower - he loved being warm and under the covers.  He loved to run up and down our street in South Pasadena and drink from the sprinklers.  He weathered our move to Texas with ease and ended up living in six different houses with us when all was said and done.  He loved laying in the sun, perching on the back of our couch, sitting up for treats, barking at big dogs as if he could take them on and win, ripping open packages on Christmas morning, giving kisses in the mornings to get Dave to get up and take him out, and eating chunks of apple (Granny Smith preferred, no skin).



Buddy and Brooks last Christmas

For those of you that know us well, that little guy was so much a part of our family I heard many times - "It's hard to think of the Quans without Buddy!"  And, you were right... he went everywhere with us... summer vacations in Montana, Seattle, California, South Carolina...  He flew on planes with us, drove on long road trips with us and walked all over many a neighborhood.  He was included in every Christmas card or letter... in family pictures... He was our first "baby."  For so many years, when we couldn't have a baby, he was our baby!  That little guy somehow eased the ache of longing for children just with his presence and his unconditional love (well, there were a few conditions, but mostly they involved treats).

And when Nate came along, the center of our universe really shifted.  Buddy never missed a beat.  He loved the little boy that moved into his territory - kissing him, playing with him.  He couldn't stand to hear Nate cry and insisted we go down the hall to Nate's room the moment there was even a sound.  Those two have shared a lot of sweet memories through the years.

In those final days our sweet little baby dog wouldn't sleep with us.  He was uncomfortable, blind and hurting.  He wandered aimlessly and cried and cried.  It broke our hearts... and it broke our hearts to say goodbye to this little piece of God's creation who had loved us so well and we loved tremendously. 



Buddy looking out over the Yellowstone River, 2007

It's been so strange... so much quieter.  Going to bed is not the same... not without that little puppy curled up next to me under the blankets.  We've all cried quite a bit - because for the last 17 years he was such a part of our everyday.  Faithful, loving, annoying, cute... company when we were a little lonely, comfort when we were a little sad, funny when we were in the midst of a busy day...  how amazing that a little dog could bring so much to our family.

We were given a poem when he passed away that summed it up in such a beautiful way - the love we had for our Buddy-dog:

"We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own, live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached.  Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way.  We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan..."   -Irving Townsend.

I think the only thing I disagree with there is the notion that memory is the only certain immortality.  My faith has led me to believe something different.   As with all loss, I have again tasted a bit of the longing for a whole and perfect creation that will one day come when all of creation is redeemed.  And, somehow, I know that every animal we've loved fits into that redemption story... 

Rachel for the Quan Clan

Dave Quan - 50 Years Young

Johnsons, Kankelfritzes, Quans & Myers

I cannot believe I am married to a 50-year-old man.  First of all, he doesn't look a day over 30.  In fact, he looks the same as he did when we first started dating.  Except for a few gray hairs that have snuck in over the years (most likely due to being married to a crazy woman), his waistline is actually SMALLER than it was the day we got married and people still mistake him for a college kid sometimes (depending on what he's wearing).  Throughout our 16 years of marriage, his looks have stayed the same...it's his heart that his grown...

Mike Lin & Dave - Air Guitar @ the party

In spite of his timeless look, I am grateful for a man who has weathered 50 years with grace, humility, a special maturity and a deep, deep kindness.  And, I would venture to say that anyone else who has met him would say the same thing.  He is wise.  He is kind.  He is calm.  He is giving.  He is loving.  As we celebrated his half century of life last weekend, I was struck by something our dear friend Alan Stewart said - he said, "It really is amazing to see the layers of friendships and relationships Dave has."  And, that, I know, is because of who Dave is - how his countenance puts people at ease, how his easy-going way of talking to people opens doors and hearts and suddenly folks are telling him their whole life story in but a few minutes, how the depth of his convictions and his faith get people to look at things through a different lens.

Dave, Al Lee & Randy Wong

We had friends and family who flew in from far away places to celebrate Dave's life and it was wonderful.  We celebrated who he is and we expressed our love for him and our gratefulness for his presence in our lives.  As we watched a video that took us from his childhood to today, I was struck by all the ways he is connected to people.  I was struck by how he and our son, Nate, are tied at the hip - closer than close.  He is the most amazing father and I am blown away by the depth of his love for his child and the way he fathers Nate, loves Nate, guides Nate and gives Nate the security and grounding that he needs.  I was struck by all the years of life I've shared with this man and the ways he's given to me - his constant care, his encouragement of my life and career and my calling, the fact that we don't have "roles" in our family - that my opinions and my passions are heard and respected - that it is his desire to see me happy and whole and healthy.  Whether it's cooking dinner because he got home first (or I'm laying on the couch, exhausted), or he's coaching Little League or he's running to the drycleaners because I need my Power Suit... he doesn't complain (usually :)) - he just serves.  I've never known any husband who has served their wives the way that Dave serves me.  And, all you "manly men" out there can call that what you want - but I am telling you - it's what every woman wishes and hopes for and oft times doesn't get.  It's what makes him stand out against all the other husbands out there (and many of my girlfriends would agree on this).

Dave and his evill "twin brother - Gi-ard"

Mind you, he isn't perfect.  One should not ask Dave to fix a broken pipe or repair a light fixture.  One should not ask him to balance their checkbook (that is why we have a family bookkeeper, I kid you not).  One should not expect him to be on-time (believe me, I have tried everything).  One should not expect him to stay awake during a sermon, no matter how good the sermon is.  But - these are not horribly important things at the end of the day. :)  No one is perfect... most especially not the woman writing this blog.

The party was a blast and we enjoyed seeing all of our "layers" of friends - old friends, new friends, friends from college, friends from church, friends from work, friends from all over the place.   We had a great time at St. Arnold's - drinking the brew, reminiscing, watching our friend Johnny Myers go all out in the caricature department... It was so much fun!  It was a special tribute and a special time...

Dave & Rach with Bill & Donna Kallmeyer

So... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE!  Nate and I are grateful for who you are and how you love us!  And, many, many friends celebrate this is as well!!!  To watch the video from Dave's celebration, click here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-hcyUmxQQQ

No Place in the World Like this Place

Montana Rainbow

So, here I am.  Sitting in the sunroom off the porch of our Montana rental home, looking at a wide-open blue sky and Emigrant Peak (part of the Absaroka Mtn Range in the Paradise Valley).  It's our last day before we pack up and head back tomorrow and we could not be more sad.

First, there is no place in the world like this place.  Mind you, I haven't been to all the places in the world that could compete - every place has its beauty (even Houston), but this is the place we come to year after year after year - the place where we are amazed at the expanse of blue sky over our heads, the clear water of the Yellowstone River that runs through this valley, the cool breezes, the amazing afternoon thunderstorms that produce double rainbows.  We've been to many, many places - but this place - it just takes my breath away in a way that no other place has yet.  I think everyone I know has a place like this - it might not be Montana, but I'm sure there are places that many folks go to that have the same effect on them as this place has on me.

Nate splashing around in the Yellowstone River

Secondly, we have found that as much as we love our hometown of Houston, Texas - if we don't get out of the heat and humidity for a portion of time in the midst of the summer, we are miserable.  And you can't beat the 40-50 degree temps in the evenings - and the lack of humidity even when it's 85 degrees in the afternoon.  That, plus a dip in the glacier and snow-pack melted Yellowstone river keep us cool in a way that even air conditioning cannot in Houston.  It does something for our spirits.  It gets us to the fall when things cool down in Texas.  Until you've run 3 miles in July in Houston, you really can't appreciate the gorgeous summer weather in Montana.  This respite helps us finish our summer back home without feeling like we'll melt away any minute.

Third, I have to say I'm still a Western girl at heart.  I like the West.  I like the fishing here (or rather, I like watching my family fish here while I sit and encourage them from the banks of the river).  I like the horses.  I like that we got to spend time with my parents' good friends who have run a cattle ranch near the Beaverhead for several generations now.  Not that I want to start herding cattle, mind you, but I like the fact that we know some folks who have a relationship with their land in a way we do not in the city.  Land is precious to them because of the family and hard work it represents here.  Land is merely an investment and commodity for those of us who are urbanites.  There's a respect and kinship with land in this state that is not the same for those of us who buy townhouses in the city.  I am sure I have a romanticized picture of what life is like in the West, but dang...  I'll keep it.  It takes me back to my childhood when me and my Grandpa Field used to swap Louis L'Amour books while camping and fishing next to Deer Creek in Northern California.  This place reminds me of those stories... so I'll take it.

Fourth, I am not a tourist.  Never have been, never will be.  Please do not put me on a tour bus and take me to see 20 different things in 10 days.  I would die.  That's not relaxation  - that's overwhelming.  I'm just not wired that way.  I need a home base where I can soak in all the local flavor, surroundings and beauty and I'll wander out on my own to explore.  More than anything, give me one place where I can BE instead of feeling like I have to DO something constantly.  Being a "tourist" in the literal sense makes me think of a Chevy Chase "Vacation" movie.  I just can't do it.  I want to hear the river run by me and watch the clouds float overhead all afternoon.  I want to enjoy seeing Nate catch a fish or float down the river or play Boggle on our vacation home deck in the evenings -  not place him in front of historic sites and take a picture so he can claim he's "been there and done that."  Not that we won't someday... just not this summer (or next...). :)

Brooks oversees her Montana Domain

Finally - I love that the people around me love this place as much as I do.  I love sharing it with people for the first time (like our niece, Katherine, who came to join us this summer).  I love that our dog, Brooks, (who by the way, herded cattle on the Montana Ranch with my parents' friends for a few years) loves this place.  I love to watch her run up and down the banks of the river, like a wild animal, romping around in the tall grass and sunning herself on our deck - that kind of freedom just doesn't exist in the city.  She always has to be on a leash or in our backyard.  She was built for open spaces - and in many ways, so are we.

For us - this is what vacation is all about - a little romanticized, beautiful surroundings, building relationships with our family and friends who come to share it with us, running wild in wide open spaces... We've already started planning next summer - same place.  Oh yes, we'll go other places in the world as our lives take us to various locations for work or fun.  We always do.  But, this particular place... there's no place like it and we just keep coming back.

We're headed home - and I am grateful for home in Houston.  But, this little spot on earth... it's become home too.  Of course, I've never spent a winter here.  In that case, I'll take Houston as home in the winter months! :)

-Rachel for the Quan Clan

When you say you're "busy" what do you REALLY mean?

CAVEAT before you read this:  I am NOT perfect and I often use the word "busy" as the code word for anything but the true definition of "busy"... so read this through the lens of "Rachel totally is the pot calling the kettle black..."

Busy, busy, busy.

Our lives are busy.  Too busy.  Ridiculously busy.  Everyone I know says this.  "I'm sorry... I've been so busy that I haven't returned your call from 3 months ago..."  or "...let's just text instead of actually having a conversation, we're so busy..."

Have I been guilty of this?  You bet!  Have there been times in my life where I've been incredibly busy?  You bet!  I believe there are genuinely some busy times in life.  Take this week, for instance.   Staff is in town from Indianapolis and my schedule really is packed.  So "packed", that Dave will have to pack our family for vacation since we are leaving on Friday morning. So, I believe there are those moments and weeks in time where busy is a legitimate thing.  But, most of the time, I think it's bull.

I think saying that we're busy is really code for saying other things like:  "I am important.  If I weren't busy, I wouldn't be an important person and important people are busy people."  Or, it could be code for "I'm afraid of silence and solitude, so I'm just going to say that I'm really, really busy." Or, it could be code for saying "I don't want to work on relationships because I am too important to myself, so I'm sorry, I'm busy!"

And I'm guilty of using all of the codes I just wrote about.  But, I've learned a different way.  Thanks to my dear friends (aka "The Birds") Donna, Anne, Margaret and Martha, I have learned that I am just as valuable when I'm still, quiet and NOT busy as I am when I am legitimately busy.  And I have certainly learned that silence and solitude are required, all the more, when you are busy.

So, it's busy right now - and I mean that using the proper definition of "busy."  I have lists up the wazoo- lists for my meetings this week, lists for my menu in Montana, lists for Dave so he can pack us... but I am not "listing" anything this morning.  Nope.  I am engrossed in doing my most favorite "NOT BUSY" thing in the world.

First, I came downstairs in my PJs and I brewed my favorite Duncan Coffee - Butter Pecan (I go in waves of favorites, but this month, it's Butter Pecan).  Then I turned on our radio (an almost extinct form of media, these days) to NPR (which is 88.7 in my town) and then I pulled out the NY Times. When the coffee was done brewing and I poured my cup, I sat on the couch next to my dear sleeping 17-year-old dachshund and proceeded to READ.  Yes, that's a different thing in this day and age too - to read something and find pleasure in the gathering of new information, to be captured by an in-depth story about eco-systems and long-term effects of oil spills, as well as how those eco-systems are still strong and come back from devastation... to be impressed by a 14-year old girl who has spent her summer vacation growing an incredible garden via Community-supported-agriculture (and man, I'm hatching plans for Nate's next summer vacation - although it will have to look different since we don't have a half acre for him to till for our neighbor's salads, but I'll come up with something...and dang it, I'm going to make him read this story too).

Yes, it's Sunday morning and I could be busy at church.  I could go to church because that is what one is supposed to do on a Sunday morning in the South.  But, believe it or not, God is here with me today.  In my moment of solitude and reading, and now blogging (because writing feeds my soul), God is here and I am not busy.  I am BEING.  I am literally a HUMAN BEING.

I realized a few years ago, after working for an insane non-profit, that I could be busy - and that it was code for "I have to please the people I work for even though my family is dying for my attention."

Will I be busy?  Yes!  I guess I could honestly say I am busy now.  But, in the midst of many things to do, I have decided I am not going to use busy as code for anything else.  I need my Sunday morning, listening to NPR, reading about what's happening in the world and drinking my Butter Pecan Coffee.  Because if I'm going to make it through this week and get off on a much-anticipated vacation, I need to have a clear mind, a quiet soul and things other than myself to think on (like how two guys from the Clinton State Dept are using Twitter and Facebook for diplomatic purposes, or how a fragile eco-system has the ability to survive because that's how God made it...).

So join me!  Ditch the word "Busy" in favor of something else... like walking the dog (which is what Dave is doing right now... on the weekends he and Brooks head for the Bayou and sit on a park bench and just watch the people go by), or reading a book.  There is no such thing as "too busy."  Just people who don't know how to sit with themselves and God and know who they really are.  And, please, the next time you ask me "How are you?" and I reply "Busy" - ask me if that's really true or if it's code for something else.  Because, more than likely, I am probably slipping back into some bad definitions of the word and need someone to knock me upside the head...  seriously.  I am so guilty of the things I rant and rave about.

-Rachel for the Quan Family

How Time Flies...

It's bad when your last blog was JANUARY.  So much has happened in our little nest since then.  I will try and relay the various events in our lives in order:

Nate & Dave with Auntie Diane, Uncle Gil and Grandma Chin

FEBRUARY:  We enjoyed an incredible visit to the SF/Oakland Bay Area for Chinese New Year with Rachel's side of the family (the Chin Clan).  It was a treat to see Aunt Diane & Uncle Gil for the second time in just a few weeks (we were with them in New Orleans for our last blog post).  And, we loved being with Grandma Chin.  Highlights for Nate included a rousing game of Boggle late into the night with Diane and Gil, watching the Opening Ceremonies for the Winter Olympics on their gigantic television, and a special dinner with Grandma and Diane at Lake Chalet (which Nate liked to call "Lake Shall-et" with a Texas accent).

Grandma Chin & Rachel

MARCH:  The Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo and the Black Eyed Peas concert with Auntie Roxie was a huge highlight.  A BIG change for our family started the very last day of March.  Rachel accepted the position of Vice President of External Operations for the 2011 NCAA Houston Final Four.  She took a sabbatical from Mowalla and decided to take on the challenge, as did the rest of the family.  With a less flexible schedule, we had to get our "ducks in a row."  This included after-school arrangements for Nate, dog-walking for Brooks and more of Dave's cooking at home.  She hit the ground running on March 31st, flying to Indianapolis for the 2010 Final Four... she capped her 9 day trip with 3 days in Chicago to finish out some things for her MoPeeps - who she misses a great deal... however, we figured we could handle anything for a year...

Nate - First Place @ Mark Twain's Inventor's Showcase

And we were such proud parents when Nate won his school's Inventor's Showcase with an innovative idea - a Car Door Rain Canopy - a mechanism that, if invented, would have prevented his mother from getting soaked when she got in and out of a car in one of Houston's signature thunderstorms.

Go Defenders!  West U Little League

APRIL & MAY:  West University Little League took over our free time.  Dave coached, Nate played... and we spent many an evening or afternoon at the ball fields - yelling, cheering and hoping.  Although it was not the greatest record, we made it to the second round of the playoffs and then (thankfully) it was over.  Not that we wouldn't have been happy to go further, but we must admit, it had gotten fairly exhausting. :)


So...here we are in summer.  ..time is flying by - which is fine... because we are gearing up for two weeks of vacation in MONTANA - our favorite summer destination! We've rented a great house in the Paradise Valley and can hardly wait for the cooler weather, gorgeous mountain ranges off of the 1500 SF deck and fishing in the Yellowstone River.

We'll come back from our trip in time to celebrate Dave's 50th birthday!  Can you believe it???  He doesn't look a day over 30!

All this is to say that life changes quickly, time passes in the blink of an eye.  I am often thinking of the small baby that was placed in my arms in 2000, and realize that a decade of his life has gone by in a flash.  Our careers have changed and morphed and taken on new dimensions and challenges.  We've taken hold of the important things in life as Dave opened his own law practice, and after spinning like a wild woman for years as a workaholic, I decided to find balance the past two years...

Dear and special people have passed away - Dave's dad, one of his best friends, Glenn... my Grandpa Chin... a close family friend's 15-year-old son...

We don't know what life holds.  We don't know what tomorrow brings.  So, I find myself STOPPING more - to take in a moment, to be grateful, to just be present.  As I was going through the process of interviewing for the new job, I spent many hours at our family's favorite neighborhood park in the spring, finishing up a writing project and wondering what new things might be around the corner.  I had no idea it would be a job with college basketball... Nate had no idea he'd be an Inventor's Showcase winner... Dave didn't know he'd be cooking so much more :)... but here we are.

Today, my trainer, Kelly Duffy, finished my workout with me laying down, eyes closed for two minutes.  "Don't think about all the things you have to do today..." she ordered me (she obviously has come to know me well).  So, instead, I went to that place in my mind where I focus on the "being present" and revel in a moment - like when Nate's comment made Dave and I laugh hard last night, or thinking about all the special people in our lives as I addressed envelopes for Dave's birthday invitations.  At the end of the day, those are the things that define us...

It's taken me years to learn this - and I'm certain I missed so much - but glad I eventually learned how to STOP, take it all in... and count my blessings.


-Rachel for the Quan Family