A Norman Rockwell Christmas Card

We lit the Peace Candle last night during our traditional lighting of the Advent Wreath at our home. It is a tradition that Nate loves, and we love that he loves it. There’s a very real sense of what the season is all about for us as we gather on Sunday nights and remember what we are celebrating. More oft than not, this time of year makes us all nostalgic – remembering special childhood holidays, reminiscing about someone we’ve lost, or the traditions we’ve carried on from our own families. What is interesting to me is that even as we celebrate what we consider the real reason for the season, we have this sense that this time of year we should somehow be very, very happy – that everything associated with this time of year should make us feel giddy and happy and whole.


But we all know the reality. All we have to do is turn the television on to be reminded of the brokenness that comes into our view on a daily basis. We are reminded of war in other countries that has a very real effect on the ones who live in those countries, or the ones who are in the military and separated from their families this month. Joblessness and homelessness are very real right now with all that has happened with our economy. Marriages and families find themselves ripped apart by the lack of finances, stability and hope for the future.

Not all that different from 2,000 years ago. Yeah – there are cars, computers and a world connection we all share that is different. But not the pain. Or the fear. Or the wars. Or the hunger. All of those broken pieces of life still existed then as well. And the Son of Man came in spite of those things, in the midst of those things, so that we might find our stability and hope in a Savior who didn’t come to make us rich or ensure our comfortableness… but came to save us from ourselves, to gives us a peace that comes even when all around is swirling and uncertain.

Easier said than done. I want the Norman Rockwell Christmas. I want the happy, giddy, easy life in the photos on Christmas cards. And when you get our Christmas card, that’s probably what you will see. Don’t get me wrong – we’ve had those great Norman Rockwell moments this past year! Little League championships, vacationing in a beautiful locale, enjoying life with friends and family… but we’ve had the struggles that aren’t in the pictures as well. Self-loathing in the middle of a birthday celebration brought on by the hurtful words of a friend, a parent who has been very ill and we want to figure out how to take care of better… and in years past it has been things like job woes or infertility or incredible loss when a beloved father passed away right before Christmas, or a sense of betrayal by the ones who are supposed to love us the most… our life is not everything on the Christmas card.

So why did we mostly recount the good things in our card? Hmmmm… good question.  This whole reflection might cause us to change it up next year.  But it made me think -  maybe we recount mostly the good because in spite of the hardships, the sadness, the brokenness that surrounds us – we have a sense of the larger reality, the bigger picture, a piece of eternity implanted in our hearts that reminds us – that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father, and that in the middle of the mess, there are moments of pure joy, sweet and tangible touches of God’s grace – reminders of the way that a Savior intervenes in our lives and gives us tastes of eternity… those blessings we recount at the end of a year are what keep us going into the next one. And please, hear me, some struggles are more devastating than others – like the loss of a child, or the end of a marriage – and I don’t pretend to understand that pain at all. But, there are some people in my life who have experienced those exact things in the past few years – and still send a card, recounting the beautiful moments where they tasted eternity, noted a blessing bestowed, held onto a moment when they saw Jesus enter their reality and save them. Those are my favorite cards. The ones where you know the “back-story” and see the notes of grace in their Christmas card that year. They make me cry.

I am not sure what this blog post means to those in my life right now. I started my morning with a heavy heart as one of my best friends and I shared about a very devastating moment they had just encountered. And I was blown away by their response in their time of crisis and need – their sense of PEACE in the middle of it all, the statement that they knew there was more to life than just that moment – and I was touched to my core – reminded that this was evidence of the hope, healing and wholeness that came with the birth of that baby so long ago. Because in spite of the road ahead, I know this friend is holding on to every promise that baby brought with Him, every promise uttered by Him – and through this - I see that like never before, this friend knows the immensity of that Gift given at Christmas. 

John 14:7 – “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.”

The Wonders of the Text Message

Texting is an amazing thing... and it is a fairly new way of communicating.  I can remember the first text I ever got - from my boss-at-the-time, Colin James.  We had just finished a number of meetings in Orlando, Florida.  My family and I stayed a couple of days longer so we could enjoy Disney World.  I was standing in a souvenir shop buying a sweatshirt because it was unusually cold in Florida that weekend, and he texted me a message voicing his appreciation for my work. 

And, it's been a great thing when you're in the event production world.  I can remember a show we did in Tampa.  There we were, Clear Comm headsets on, radio ear pieces in and my cell phone in my pocket.  We could call the show on the Clear Comm, while getting weather updates via the radio from the production trailer (it was raining... hard!!) and our artist runner would text me en route from the hotel to backstage, keeping me apprised of her location as we went about our jobs. 

Most recently, I loved all the text messages I got while sitting on the sidelines during the Final Four, doing my job (which was tracking the traffic outside the stadium to ensure our Transportation plan was working).  I got texts from around the country from folks claiming they saw me on television, my family sending me messages throughout the game as they sat behind me, my staff sending me texts with their updates...  my close friends sending their sweet messages of "way to go" and "so proud of you!"

Text messages have also been my mode of prayer over the past couple of years - with my friend Donna Kallmeyer in particular.  On any given day, as I drove to and from Reliant Stadium for various meetings, issues and frustrations, I'd shoot her a text with my prayer for the day.  And she'd text me a prayer in return, or a "shout out" of encouragement.  It was also the way I communicated with my dear mentor and friend, Vicky Jones, as she fought an illness a few years ago.  I knew she was tired, couldn't talk on the phone much, had a lot going on.  So whenever I thought of her (which was often), I'd say a silent prayer for her and text her my thoughts... letting her know that I was praying for her in that moment, thinking of her during that particular day.

Texting has been great in natural disasters!  During Hurricane Ike, in the middle of the night when the storm was at its worst, I got text messages from all over - including my dad who was up and couldn't sleep because he was worried for us.  He texted me his prayers and thoughts for us in the wee hours of the morning.  I would turn my phone off and on to save battery power on my cell phone, and since I couldn't sleep, I turned it on to see that he had been thinking of us.  As my sister prepared for Hurricane Irene in New York City, we enjoyed a funny text conversation yesterday when she was running around town, after a full day of shooting her show, trying to get in the last minute errands necessary for "hunkering down."  This was the conversation:

Me:  Make sure u have supplies @ the ready.  Water, canned goods, dry goods, batteries, flashilights.  I can even Fed Ex you my lantern (** note:  this was the latern she had Fed-exed to me after Hurricane Ike).

Becky:  I have a lantern!
Me:  Oh good!  Call me when u can.  I wanna make sure ur safe.  Love u.  Are they evacuating you?

Becky:  Okay.  I have water.  And cheese sauce!  They are evacuating some areas, but not where I live.

Me:  Cheese sauce?  Do you have somewhere to go if u need to.

Becky:  There's no where to go.  Cheese sauce with chips, like nachos.

Me:  Yuck.

Becky:  All of the states near us will be hit as well.  We would have to go to Ohio.

Me:  You know people in Toledo. :)

Becky:  It's like a 10 hour drive.  We would end up stuck in traffic when the hurricane hit.

Me:  Well, enjoy your nachos.  Do u cook with gas?  Cuz u can always hand light that and eat ramen.

Becky:  We have a gas stove.  I let you know what happens.

Me:  K.  Love u.

Becky:  Love you.

Looking back at this exchange was hilarious.  Only two sisters who know each other well, both love to cook and eat, can have a conversation via text like that.

--------------------------

I love how you can get announcements via text too - this included the other day when an old employee sent me news of another co-worker who we had been rooting for.

Jayne:  Congrats to Dougie Fresh - the new Houston Dynamo Stadium GM!

Me:  :)  Yeah!

Jayne:  Hope all is well - miss you!

Me:  Miss u too!!!

--------------------------


And then there was the conversation yesterday, as I experienced "event-withdrawals" and my friend B was calling show in Minneapolis.

Me:  How did conference go?

B:  Last session.  It has been awesome... thanks you again for the referral Boss Lady.

Me:  Yeah!!  Did Dave Peterson stop by?

B:  Talked with him twice.

Me:  Cool.  Looks great (**referring to picture he sent me via text).  I am having event withdrawals.

B:  I was waiting for that.

It's those little exchanges, even without being voice-to-voice, that you can "hear" the people in your life talking to you - small words, personal catch phrases... sharing a moment right then and there without being in the same room.  I love texting.  Some might find it impersonal.  I think it's become one of the best ways to communicate with someone - especially when one is calling a show (like my friend B) and can't actually talk voice-to-voice, or running around New York City getting ready for a hurricane, or feeling overwhelmed and heading into a meeting and getting a little prayer from a friend...  I say texting is a wonderful thing!

--------------------------

And, today... it was keeping up with my son who went to Dave & Buster's and a movie with a dear teacher and some friends.  After I dropped him off I realized there were a few things I hadn't said to him before dropping him off:

Me:  Nate, call me if u need me.  And don't go to the restroom by yourself - take a buddy with you.

No response from Nate.  But oh well, I knew he had read it... and that my little text message would stick in his sweet brain!

--------------------------

Of course, texting cannot replace the voice-to-voice I still enjoyed with my old co-worker and friend, B, while driving back from Austin the other afternoon, or the Happy Hour that I'll have with Jayne to get caught up on life since we finished our last project together, or the little boy who climbed in the backseat of my car after school and gave me all the details of his day, or the lunch I had with Donna this past week where we shared our hearts over a really good sandwich and salad, or the conversation I had with my sister tonight as the storm rolled in - where she was able to tell me all was well, she was cooking Vodka Penne for dinner for her and Fran, and she sounded like it was no big deal.  The sound of calm in her voice was better than any text message.

-Rachel for the Quan Clan

Parenthood - Both Real & Imagined

We went to dinner last night with our dear friends, Mike & Becky Kankelfritz.  It was fantastic - and we love sharing life with these two.  We have different backgrounds, but similar hearts and so it makes the time fly by when we're enjoying a night out with each other.  We talked a lot last night about our children (and a whole host of other topics that were completely unrelated), but there was one piece of the conversation that I am still thinking about this morning.  Mike and Becky have two beautiful children - Abby Grace and Sam.  Sam is just a little guy right now, apparently getting into everything and talking up a storm whenever they go out to a restaurant.  This led us to a discussion about fatherhood and how you have these moments when you look around and recognize that one of these moments is exactly what you had pictured when being a father was merely a dream.

Nate, 5 years old, "washing" dishes

In sharing, we talked about Nate's Little League championship and how much it meant this year.  More than that, Dave talked about two moments that he has had as a father that were merely dreams in his head when he was just imagining what being a father to a son would be like.  One took place at Disneyland when Nate was 3-years-old.  We spent all day in the Magic Kingdom with my Auntie Pam and ended the night watching the ever-famous fireworks show where Tinkerbell flies over Cinderella's Castle.  I remember coming out from a store where I was picking up a picture from earlier in the day, and looking in the distance at my husband, with Nate sitting in his lap, looking up at the sky watching the flashes of orange and green and red while iconic Disney songs played in the background.  When I sat down next to Dave, he looked over at me and said, "This is exactly what I imagined life would look like when I had a child."

And the other moment came at some point in the third year of Nate's Little League career.  Dave was coaching, Nate was catching... somewhere in the midst of all the chaos that is trying to manage a bunch of 8-year-olds and their baseball "careers", Dave looked at Nate standing next to him on the field and thought "This is exactly what I had imagined my life would be with my son."

I love those moments - those moments when we as parents can stand back and appreciate all the beauty that comes with shepherding these little souls as they grow and learn.  I think for us, especially because we had hoped to be parents for so long, we have recognized those moments in ways that might have passed us by if we had taken this privilege for granted and it had come easily.

There are also those moments where you look around and say to yourself, "This is not at all what I thought parenthood would be!"  Some of these moments for us included a month-long stint in the hospital as Nate struggled to overcome a horrible infection that almost took his life... or some of the physical challenges that came early on for us because of the birth defect he was born with.  I had not imagined moments of total desperation and fear, and the constant worry about whether we were getting him the right care in the right moment.

And, there are other difficult moments I had not imagined when contemplating parenthood - those moments that would be difficult for his little spirit - the situations that are sad and hard that you have to explain are the result of living in a very broken world -  the realities of the hard things that happen around you, or the people that aren't who they should be... and quite frankly, the moments where I, as a parent, have to back up and apologize because I have totally screwed up and I need to ask for his forgiveness. 



Abby-the "Cover Girl -enjoying a swing at Morgan's Wonderland


And, in thinking about Mike and Becky's own journey, I know there have been many things for them through the years that were moments they had not imagined when they were dreaming about being parents.  Every time I am with them, I am amazed at their parenting skills in the face of some big challenges - challenges that the majority of parents will never have to face.  What I am most amazed by is how they are this example of living life openly, authenticly - with all the love right there, as well as the honest truth about the daily struggles that come with a special needs child.  And, I have this sense that there have been some beautiful discoveries because they have this special situation - one of them of late has been the fact that Abby's photo will be on the cover of a calendar for a great place called "Morgan's Wonderland" - this incredible place where any kid can ride any ride and have a fabulous time!  The photo that Becky took of Abby is of Abby swinging in a swing, with these cute pink sunglasses on and the biggest smile in the world!  That's one of Abby's great gifts - her smile and the look of total joy that crosses that face when she is having a good time!  I know that the circumstances that Becky and Mike find themselves in were not a part of the "standard plan" they might have thought would be for them as parents  -- but I KNOW when they see that smile on Abby's face, they are thinking "That is the smile I always imagined I would delight in when I thought about what it would be like to be a parent." 

It is a special place -- that intersection where our expectations for something we have dreamed about and the reality of having it and living it out meet.  Real life can be a beautiful mix of the two.  There are many things I have dreamed about being different in my own little family unit once I had one - and I have purposefully worked towards making those things a part of the every day world in the Quan household.  And there are many things that have been hard and strange and difficult that we have embraced and lived out honestly in spite of the fact that they weren't what we had imagined life would be like as a family.  But, it makes us real, and also more capable of loving each other and walking out the very dark days together... as well as relishing the moments of pure happiness we get to encounter as we live out our lives.

One thing I have imagined that has become a reality is this - that my son would be more like my husband than me.  And, so far, so good!  Instead of my anxious and intense personality, he has inherited Dave's more laid back and "take life as it comes" personality.  Now I recognize that this can be both good and bad, but for the most part, it serves Nate well.  He enjoys life.  He genuinely enjoys it, embraces it and worries very little about tomorrow.  I love that he is like Dave in this way.   I love to watch the two of them be total "boys" - wrestling, playing Nerf basketball in his room, talking for two hours about Nate's baseball team and recounting every play from the last game, watching them battle it out with John Madden's Football on the Wii.  I also love that they spent part of today packing and carrying boxes from my old office to my new one, moving things in and out of storage - and then going on to GameStop to buy some new video games!  I am so grateful for a husband who is an incredible father - who models for Nate what it means to serve, to give (to wash dishes and cook once in awhile!), that a compassionate heart is the most important thing... a father like Dave is a rare thing.

Which leads me to:  HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!  A "shout out" to my hubby who impresses me daily with his commitment to our son and our family.  And a "shout out" to my own dad on this special day.  Also... in this blog a "shout out" to Mike and Becky K on Father's Day - you two are wonderful parents!  To all the dads out there that have touched our lives in one way or another - uncles, brothers and close friends - enjoy the day!

-Rachel for the Quan Clan

40 is just a number (or at least that's what I keep telling myself)

A special birthday cake from my hubby... with ALL the candles!

40 is just a number.  At least that's what I have told myself.  40 is really just 10 years times 4.  And life in 10 year increments is easier to digest.  First ten years, you're still just a kid.  Second ten years, you're a young adult and still feel like your whole life is in front of you.  Third ten years, you aren't "too young", not "too old", just the right amount of mature, but not too mature.  And... here... the next ten... well they went by fast, ding dang it!  Especially when I compare it to the life of a little boy who was just a baby - yesterday?  Well, it seems like it.

I have to say - I like who I am at 40.  I like that I care a lot less about what other people think and feel more comfortable in my own skin as I continue to navigate my way through life.  But, I also have this nagging sense that time is passing by more quickly - that life changes in the blink of an eye, that sometimes I am missing out on something because it's moving so fast.  That's why those around me hear me say (about a hundred times) that I try very hard to focus on "being present" in a moment.  Like right now.  I am sitting in my favorite chair at home looking at my son sitting on the couch with the remote control in his hands while he watches a baseball game.  Present in this moment is feeling the wind from our ceiling fan and watching my chubby cheeked boy as he comments on the Astros pitching game.  This is what I am thinking:  That's my boy... and he's sitting here, comfortably, at home - content with the family that surrounds him, comfortable in the space that is our house, enjoying a conversation about baseball with his dad...

And then there are the things I'm not so comfortable with at 40.  That would be things like not looking like I did when I was 20.  Although, I have to say, I can probably bench press more now than I did at 20.  I have had to come to terms with the fact that my high school varsity basketball body days are over... but I try harder to take care of what I do have (shout out to my dear friend and trainer, Kelly Haley).  I do wish, however, that I had paid more attention to the physical part of my life a lot sooner, and that I had paid more attention to eating right in my 20s so that this battle would be easier in my 40s. 

Other things I am not so comfortable with at 40: 

With the Final Four Staff... "Mama" did her best!

• Being the "mama" in the office.  When did this happen? I ask myself.  I used to always be the youngest one in the office, and suddenly I am the one managing the team, dispensing the advice and generally taking care of the bumps, bruises and hurts of those who work for me.  It's a weird thing to be the "mama" in the office.  This happened pretty quickly at the Final Four office - and to this day, when I call one of those "young 'uns" and they see that it's me calling, they answer:  "Hi Mama!" 
• Hearing people say that I have now officially reached "middle age."  What???  My great-grandma lived to be 101 and my Grandpa Chin lived to be 90.  Excuse me, but I am not middle-aged yet if I take after my Chin side at all.  Middle age will be in my 50s...  maybe.  Nate reminds me that I could still possibly be in the Guiness Book of World Records if I live to be 130 or something - in which case, I am not even close to middle age!
• Realizing that if I am getting older, so are the people around me.  My hubby is now in his 50s.  My son is now getting ready to start Middle School.  Time is flying by and gosh darn it, I haven't been able to catch up!  I just want to freeze some moments and really, really live in them.

Things I like about being 40:

• To begin with, there are the years of relationships that have only grown in their depth and their value.  The fact that I am old enough to have really lived life with people and they with me has been one of life's greatest gifts.  I can name so many of those long, deep, priceless friendships that span many years now. 
• I am thinking of Eileen Quon who was so instrumental in my early days with Dave - she planned my wedding and it was hers and Marv's house that we found ourselves at many a Friday night in those early days of marriage. 
• I am thinking of Michelle Eutsler whom I have now known for 15 years - the thousands of miles we've logged together in a car on road trips, the numerous events we've pulled off over the years - staff retreats, weddings, you name it - the time she took off work when I had a 104 temp and couldn't get out of bed and Dave was at the office trying to meet a client deadline.  Who else would take 2 days off to nurse me back to health and watch my baby?? 
• I am thinking of Mary Kent Yochum whom I have now known 15 years as well... and one gigantic festival later, I still call her my "Yoda Friend" for the way she can speak calm and peace into any situation. 
• I am thinking of Laura Smith and the many walks through our neighborhood together, cups of coffee, trips to work together on events - she fills my life with such laughter! 
• I am thinking of sweet Roxie Chess and the hours of "chick-flick" movies we've seen together.  Who else in my life can I spend hours and hours talking to about theology AND fashion?  Oh boy - it's been so hard to not live in the same city as you and be able to just meet you for one of our Saturday "Girl Nights."



Esther and Nate

• Or sweet Esther Choi who lived in the Quan house for a number of years and became our "adopted" daughter... all these years later to see her as a mother, growing and juggling - it's amazing to see how far we've come!
• I am thinking of some of the precious "brothers" I have shared great friendships with through the years - Colin James (best boss in the whole world) and the blood, sweat and tears we poured out in the world of Festivals -- Brent Walla and the crazy hours spent pulling together an event, as well as the great conversations about life, God and family while we produced a show -- Al Lee and the way that he has always just "shown up" for our little family through the years... hanging my pictures every time we moved houses (and that has been a lot!), bringing me flowers just because, hanging out with Dave and I on any given holiday as we clean up -- I am thinking of Johnny Myers and the hours we've spent strategizing and generally being silly through the years.



Rachel and Johnny Myers

• It has been 40 years of building, deepening and developing these sweet, long-standing friendships that have stood the test of time.  I am so blessed.  And being 40 means that I have had the time to nurture, grow and enjoy these types of friendships - these are relationships that have been cultivated over time - and I have had the time to do that.  So, for my twenty-something friends out there - look around when you hit 40.  The friends you have left in your life at 40 will tell you where you invested your time wisely through the years.

Other things I like about being 40:

• Another plus?  ...having enough years under my belt to claim a bit of wisdom.  After many years of working, juggling, overcoming, slowing down, managing people and projects... I can claim a bit of experience and wisdom in life.  This has come in handy in the work realm.  I might be the "Mama" of the office, but that's a title that means I've been around the block enough to offer some insight and expertise once in awhile. 
• And then there's the confirmation in knowing that the crucial decisions I've made through the years - the places where I stopped long enough to take something seriously - have paid off.  40 years later, you can look back with some perspective and recognize that some of those big risks you took - well, they meant something!  Two that come to mind:




Dave and Rach

• I married the right man.  I could have married a different man - someone who I had dated for a long time, a nice guy, a good guy - it would have been convenient and easier than stepping into the relationship that ultimately led to marriage.  But, I took a different path and walked away from what seemed natural at the time... and married the right guy for me.  If I had married the other guy - I would have stayed where I had always been and done the things I had always done.  Instead I opted for the adventure and I am so glad that I did.
• I didn't stay in the same city that I grew up in.  I took a risk and a chance and moved halfway across the country to this big ol' state called Texas... to a hot and humid town called Houston... and made my own life and way here.  I love, love, love this town.  I love the people and the entrepreunerial spirit of this city - the way you can be anyone and have come from anywhere and make your way here.  I love the multi-culturalism (believe it or not, much more so than Southern Cal), I love the "can do" attitude.  I love that you can find many of us taking a run in 95 degree heat and 100% humidity because we are just plain tough, hard-working folks.  This city has been good to me - I have gotten to define my path and my identity in a special and unique way here.  It is home.  It always will be.

So... I'll just keep pushin' forward through the next decade.  I hope I stop long enough to be present in all the right moments.  I hope I learn more about myself, my family and my community and that I revel in those discoveries as they come my way.  I hope I can love deeper and better and that in doing so I make a difference in the world.  I hope I can write another blog at my 50th year and be just as content as I am in this moment.

-Rachel for the Quan Clan

And... finally... for those who didn't get to see it... click on the link for the sweet slideshow that my hubby and my niece put together - a great collection of photos of life lived with so many people I love so dearly!  Click here:  http://s158.photobucket.com/albums/t86/seraph7clothing/?action=view&current=Rachel1.mp4

A League of Their Own!

Nate with his Iron Pigs' Championship Trophy

Nate started playing baseball when he was 5-years-old.  He was just a little guy playing tee ball with our local YMCA.  The next year, we signed him up for "real" Little League and he began his baseball "career" with West U Little League.  Our first year was amazing.  We had an incredible coach who was that perfect combination of kind and gentle, yet firm enough to keep the dugout rebellions down.  To top it off he was also a great teacher of the game (he still is!)   Nate had a blast.  It's where he began playing catcher and he hasn't looked back since. 

The next year we had a terrible coach (and I won't name him here).  Needless to say that a grown man yelling and screaming at his own son like a lunatic and being a general jerk with a group of 7-year-olds, almost did the Quan Family in.  Nate was ready to give up the sport.  This guy was so bad that parents from other teams complained on behalf of our team to the Green Hats (the governing dudes, if you will).  It was so bad that this Mama Bear (currently writing this post) thought about taking a baseball bat to the man's head one day... but I figured that would be the opposite of what I wanted to be teaching Nate.  Dave was the more level-headed parent who had the talk with this guy, and it got a little better after that.  It was a truly disappointing experience - on many levels. 

The Iron Pigs and their coaches celebrate!

So, when Dave was asked to co-coach the next year with our friend, Mark, he said "yes."  This was more out of our desire to ensure that Nate didn't end up with a lunatic for a coach.  Now, Dave admittedly might have a few bad attributes... but being a lunatic, screaming and yelling... that for sure is NOT him.  That is me, at times, but it for sure is not him. :)  We also figured this was our only way of controlling who we had on our team - children and parents alike who were good sports with good hearts. 

Each year Nate grew in his skills, confidence and understanding of both the game and the teammates that made up each of our teams.  Some teammates are gems and Dave works hard to draft them again and again - our buddies Jacob and Jack, for instance.  We love them.  We love their families.  We love playing baseball with all of them.

And, each year there were some challenges.  But, Dave kept drafting on character first, skill set second.  And, each year we would end up with great kids we knew fit the bill... and a few times, you end up drafting someone you don't know... and you hope, hope, hope that they are going to be okay.  Since this is a public blog, I can't say much.  I'll just say, that we had a near perfect team one year but for one player - who also happened to be the most skilled player we had... however, the little man had a huge attitude problem.  And, as went him... well, so went the team.  And, since his parents attributed his bad attitude to the fact that he wasn't used to playing on a losing team... well you can imagine how disappointing that was for all of us - both for the boys and the other parents.



Coach and son relish their victory!

 Which brings us to THIS SEASON.  I won't get in to how it is that AAA (Triple A) is the most enjoyable year for many families.  There are a lot of reasons for that, and WULL would do good to ask us all why.  But, Dave marched into the drafting meeting with his little Excel spreadsheet and list and went after it.  Again - the criteria was good character first, skill level second.  He came home with our team list and we both smiled - what a great group of boys! The IRON PIGS were born!

Dave's Introduction at our first parents' meeting went something like this:

Dave:  "Hello, my name is David Quan and I will be your sons' baseball coach this year.  Now, if anyone in this room has been putting off saving for retirement or investing in your 401K because you are sure your kid is so good that his major league baseball career will pay for those things... well... you are on the wrong team.  Sorry."

Nate and some of his great teammates!

As he always does with both the parents and the boys, he emphasizes a few things:

-We're here to have fun
-We're here to learn and develop our skills better
-We're here to learn what it means to be a team
-We're here to encourage each other and lift each other up

So, the Iron Pigs set off on their adventure.  And they did all of these things... it was amazing to see these guys bond.  I've never seen anything like it.  They picked each other up when they were down, they encouraged each other on and off the field, they worked hard to develop their skills.. and they still lost.  Here we were - best kids and best parents ever... and it was a rough place we found ourselves in during playoffs.  We were 3rd out of 4 in our division... so I figured we'd be packing it in early this season.

And they lost their first playoff game... and had to go to the bottom in the Loser's Bracket. 

Then something happened.  Something clicked.  They didn't lose a game after that.  They won 6 games straight, all the way to the championship and were amazing!  Amazing defense... amazing batting... amazing hearts - always finding words of praise for each other.  And playing one game with 8 players and still winning!  We had had 9 when our star shortstop was injured.  2 others were out of town - one at a wedding and one at a sibling's college graduation.  Both emailed and texted the whole game to keep up-to-date!   And then we found ourselves up against the best team in the playoffs - hadn't lost a game.  And... we beat them twice to win it all!  Our little Iron Pigs fought their way out of the Loser's Bracket all the way to the championship game!



Nate and Baba... the whole team's grandmother! :)

 And the parents and even grandparents - what a blast we had!  We were loud and crazy and SO proud of our boys!  We got teary-eyed when we watched them take a knee outside the dugout when one of their teammates was injured on the field.  We got ecstatic when the bottom of our batting order was hitting just as amazing as the top of our order!  We pulled together because we wanted the same thing for our sons - an understanding that teamwork and the right heart, incredible sportsmanship - that's what was most important.

And this time... the kids with the greatest character and sportsmanship WON!  The celebration was huge, and one mom commented -- "Sometimes the nice guys do finish first!"  Amen to that!  However, we all agreed on this one fact:  Even if we had lost in the championship game... it was still the BEST SEASON EVER.  It was the best season ever even before the playoffs... merely to see our children pulling together and being a real team.

And, I can hear all the cynics (or in some cases those parents who nuttily push their children to win and blame everyone else when things don't go well)... "these kids still need ambition and drive in the real world."  I am sorry - but I disagree with that.  My child could grow up to be as rich as Bill Gates.  But, if he made it to the top by being a blamer, putting others down to advance himself, or by only caring about himself and his goals - well, then... I have totally failed as a parent.  It might sound "Pollyanna"ish - and for the cynics, you can have your success the way you think it ought to be gained.  But in this house, it is the depth of relationships that are the real success.  And here is where the Iron Pigs ultimately won - championship or not.

What an incredible adventure for our family.  It will be one of those great seasons that is life-forming for Nate.  He understood what this win meant - and that if he could replicate this in real life... this surrounding himself with others who have the right hearts, who support each other and lift each other up even when the going gets rough... well, he can go very, very far.

And, a reminder to Dave and I - and all of the parents on the team - that the values we instill in our sons - whether they win or lose - still make them winners at the end of the day.  A reminder that what we've been teaching them and hoping for them is actually coming to fruition in their lives.  I know it is all of our prayers that our boys will take this lesson with them into their futures.  So the Quans send a "shout out" to the Iron Pigs - Matthew, Nolan, Jacob, Cooper, Santi, Evan, Andy, Charlie, Scottie, Joseph and of course, Nate Quan - WAY TO GO!  We are so proud of you!

-Rachel for the Quan Clan

Going Home

So here I am, at another juncture in my life - closing out my Final Four job and getting ready to embark upon my new one.  That's for another blog.  However, in this transition period, I took a long-overdue trip back to the Bay Area in California to visit my grandmother, AKA "Grandma Chin", who has been ill this past year.  The last time I had seen her was over Chinese New Year in 2010, and since I was just getting off of the spinning planet that was the NCAA Final Four, I knew I had to plan another trip to see her.  And, here, at this fork in the road of my life, where I am closing one chapter and opening another, I have been blessed to get to taste again that feeling of going back to a familiar place, that place that evokes childhood memories and is a reminder of who you are and where you've come from.

MY OLD HOME

It's an odd situation.  There isn't a "childhood home" that my parents live in and I go back to visit.  In fact, we moved houses so often that there is no such place for me and my sister.  The longest we lived in any house was 5 years.  I broke my "longest living in a house" record a couple of months ago when I hit the 6 year mark in the home I share with Dave and Nate, here on Bellefontaine.  So "going home" for me (if you are talking about a physical structure) is my grandmother's house on Grand Avenue in Oakland, California - a short walk from Lake Merrit and the Grand Theater.   It's a 2-story stucco duplex that is over 100 years old and my grandma reminded me the other day that she is only the 3rd owner of this home. 

I don't know how to describe it, but it has a certain smell about it.  A certain sound about it.  A certain feeling and sense about it that is familiar and comfortable.  Lots of memories here.  My sister and I used to play on the stairs non-stop when we were little during family gatherings.  And there's the little nook off the kitchen  where I would pad down the hallway to, early in the morning, and talk with my grandmother while she got food ready for the day and smoked a cigarette.  The Safeway Supermarket across the street has been there for ages and ages, and the traffic noise that comes through the front windows is sort of comforting in an odd way.  This is the house that my husband's family first met my family in, and the place where Nate came to meet the Chin side of his family - where he sat next to my grandfather's chair and rifled through the Chinese newspaper on the floor, pulling apart the different sections and staring at the strange characters on the pages, complete with pacifier in his mouth.

There are also strange memories that come with this place.  Tension between family members, some harsh words spoken, divorce, marriage, heartache, reconciliation... all the things that come with being a family.  If these walls could speak they would have many a good and beautiful and hard and sad stories to tell (as would all of our houses and homes).  And, standing here as an adult, I can appreciate ALL of those stories and the real life that has been lived here.  Most of all, for me, there is a sense of permanence in this place - a knowing that it will always be here - and that I can always come back to it.  And, it's a reminder of the fact that I want this for my own child -  a physical location that represents all of the wonderfully complicated things that make his family, his family.

3 Generations of Chin Women

And, as I walked through Oakland Chinatown with my Auntie Diane and Grandma Chin during my visit -making our way through old and young immigrants looking for their produce and a good lunch - I was reminded more of my cultural heritage.  I cannot describe for you the sights, sounds and feelings that come with a rememberance that this is where my life started (or close by), where I ate my first Char-su Bao, where the Chin clan made their way. 




Nate and Dave at our home's front door

  MY CURRENT HOME - The Home that Chin & Quan Built
Now, those of you who know me know that "home" is Houston, Texas where I have made my life and my living for the past 15 years.  And it will be the place where Nate will come back to and be reminded of his roots and the legacy built for him in the city he is growing up in.  It won't all be nostalgic - it wouldn't be real if it were - but it will ground him and give him a sense of belonging and a better understanding of who he is and what matters.  It is also where the Quan side of his roots grow deep - this family that has become mine over the past 18 years.  They have a story of their own in this city, and he is a part of that legacy!  I have been quite determined to raise him in one place, one house, one community for his growing up years because I think that grounding will give him the courage to go out and try new things, go new places and become who he is called to become.  So, I have worked hard with Dave at creating our own space and place and nest for our little bird to grow up in and then venture out from... returning here and there to be reminded of the love he comes from.

THE HOME I HAVE ONLY VISITED

Emigrant Peak in Montana

And then there's the home I never knew before I stood in the Yellowstone River and looked around me.  That would be our favorite summer destination - the Paradise Valley of Montana.  It is the place we return to year after year after year for a long stretch every summer.  I had never lived there before visiting (although my parents did for a time) and I don't even live close to there now.  I cannot describe it any other way than to say, when I am there, I feel like it is a type of home for me - because I feel alive there - and free and unencumbered, amazed at the beauty that surrounds me and in awe of the world that I live in.  That's a different type of home for me, but when I get there and look around - there's a sense of feeling like I am where I should be.

ANOTHER TYPE OF HOME

And then I got to go "home" in the professional sense - on the same California trip that took me to Oakland.  I just hopped on a plane from the Bay Area and flew to Los Angeles to do a little event work.  I got to go work my final conference under the Mowalla umbrella for awhile.  And, it was nice to "be home" in that sense.  To work with someone I know well, to be able to fall in step with the gig and know exactly what needed to be done and then just do it.  To see things come together - to work on a topic that is near and dear to my heart and recognize that the work we do behind-the-scenes, well, it matters!  When we are a part of producing something that moves others to action, we are a part of changing the world. 



Enjoying doing what I love to do

I was teary-eyed all week working on this one because I knew it was goodbye in a sense.  I love doing events, and I will continue to do them in my new role as the Executive Director of the GRHA.  But sadly, it won't be with the event family I have literally "grown up" with.  I've learned a ton from them and am proud of all we have accomplished together.  Beyond that, there have been some wonderful stories that I have gotten to be a part of  - big and small - that have helped shape me into the person I am today - both professionally and spiritually.  I realized in the midst of this particular gig, that I was "home" in the work sense - doing what I love to do with people I love working with.  Home - for me - is about that place where you are most comfortable and feel the most like you can be who you are. 

MY REAL HOME



There's the home I came from in the Bay Area, and the home that I have with my professional family, and the home I never really lived in but like to visit... and the home that I have worked on and established for my own family.  And I am really, really grateful that the word "Home" evokes good feelings for me because I recognize that for others, this word does not have anything good attached to it.  And, please hear me - I am not saying that "home" for me in any of these settings is idyllic.  There have been heartaches, fights, betrayal, sadness, in all of these places I claim.  And there has also been forgiveness, reconciliation, enormous love and some sweet days too.  That is what home entails.  The good and the bad.  But NEVER the perfect.



Except for the Home we all long for .  Do you ever wonder where we get this longing for a perfect home?  How is it that if none of us have ever experienced that type of perfection, we still somehow long for it?  I say it's because we know that type of Home exists elsewhere - and our hearts long for the whole and perfect creation that will someday be made possible.  That would be the REAL Home I speak of, I suppose.



In the meantime, I am glad to have tastes of that real home - here and there - in the day to day of my life.  This heart is grateful for all the places that feel like home to me in so many ways.

These are my rambling thoughts, a tiny bit of familial history written down for others to know, for Nate to someday read and reflect on.  In spite of what some may say, you really can go home again - if you want to.

Rachel for the Quan Clan



What is Getting me to the Finish Line

Reliant Stadium at Sunset - only weeks to go!

I started this job nearly a year ago - and had no idea what I was in for.  Who knew that the road ending in Houston for four very talented basketball teams would be one of the longest work roads for me? 

It started with an email from a friend with a job description - and some very encouraging words from my Aunt Diane - and suddenly I was thrown into planning an iconic sporting event.

I'm used to doing events.  I'm used to long hours, lots of details and sometimes a chaotic scene around me that I am always trying to organize and make sense out of.  But the great thing about the majority of those events was that I was doing it with a team that was like my family - we had a way of doing things, a rhythm to producing an event.  So, even if the events were different each time, it was oft the same group of people working through the same structures and systems we had developed together.

This has been very different.  Completely new team.  Totally new client.  And it's been one wild ride.  A few curve balls thrown at me - some days I wasn't sure I was cut out for the task, some months when I hoped the team we were pulling together could actually pull it off.  And, now that I am less than 40 days out... well, that's when things seem to have come together.  Our team has gelled, we've got a great ethos in the office, we've sort of figured out the client - and we're almost done.  I guess better late than never. 

So, I decided tonight that I needed to focus on the things that are getting me to the finish line - sort of like counting your blessings one by one - as well as savoring a moment, being present in today.  Here we go... here's what's brought me this far:



With Donna Kallmeyer - one of my biggest cheerleaders!

MY FRIENDS and MY FAITH:  Well, first of all, there are some specific names to "shout out."  Donna Kallmeyer.  Martha Moore.  Anne Grizzle.  Brent Walla.  Roxie Chess. Laura Smith. Johnny Myers. Mary Kent Yochum.  My sister Becky.   These are the people who call me, text me, pray for me, give me the extra push I need to stick with it.  To see it through.  To gain new insight from the whole experience and recognize my calling for each day.  They also keep me grounded.

Calling show with Walla in San Diego in Sept.

A LITTLE TASTE OF WHAT I LOVE DOING: Of course, there are the few moments I've gotten to be with my old event family - like flying to San Diego to call a festival with the old team over a weekend... seemed a little crazy to fly out on a Friday, call a show all day Saturday and fly home on Sunday morning. I was tired, but oh so happy to have been in that mix again. Traveling with Laura Smith made it even better... A little taste to get me through this job... a reminder of the things I love about my old job...

EXERCISE: The year before I took this gig I worked out like a lunatic. A "shout out" to my friend (and trainer) Kelly Haley who put me in a place where I could physically handle this job... and quite frankly, staying in shape has also helped me emotionally handle this job. I don't get to be the Gym Rat I was last year, but what I have been able to do is still vitally important to me keeping my sanity.  Of course, I recognize that Kelly is more than trainer friend, she's also my mental health advisor.  Feels good to unload all the angst from a long day and work it out!



Helen's Park

A WALK TO MY FAVORITE PLACE:  When I can't be in Montana... or the Texas Hill Country, I have to find my own little place of beauty and peace in the midst of the urban jungle.  That would be Helen's Park - and a walk there with Brooks on any given Saturday afternoon will do it.  It's hard to explain this place, unless of course you happen to be my neighbor and understand what I'm talking about.  I have no idea who designed this little oasis in the city, but it's beautiful - has gorgeous landscaping, a meandering little river and a lovely fountain that Brooks and I like to sit on the edge of while we watch the cars go by and the planes fly overhead.  The sound of that water drowns out the noise of the city, and with the right song on the iPod I'm transported to another place.


MY HLOC TEAM:  Doug, Karen, Jean, Amarachi, Alex, Crystal, Risa... we're almost there, and I am so grateful for this little team we've assembled.  Who knew we had it in us?  It's been so amazing to see it all come together.  Just when we're figuring it all out, it's almost over.  So many things I won't miss about this gig, but so many things I will miss - mostly you guys and the great ethos we've got going in the office.



With Brooks and Nate on a walk together!

MY SWEET FAMILY:  And, then there's Nate and Dave that get me through... the thought of my family and getting to go back to being the mom and wife that I was - balanced and available!  The thought of planning THREE weeks in Montana this summer and not having to take this job with me again... that's some great motivation... It's also the little things with them like the Friday night dinners and Saturday morning chilling...

So this is my moment of gratitude - my moment of recognizing how it is that I am getting to this particular finish line.  I have worked long and hard on being present - and that's right where I'm at - present and grateful for the people and the parts of my life that keep me going.  And, I know that whatever the next leg of the journey might be, these will still be the people and the things that get me down the next road!

-Rachel